I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Randomize
