I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
