glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
