If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
