He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize