bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
