when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize