I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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