3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
