due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
