Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
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I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
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my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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