you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize