I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
