So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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