I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
