I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I deserve this hangover.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
