Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
