Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
