i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
