uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
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It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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