I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
