remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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