make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
