Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
