I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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