Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize