hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
