One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
