My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
