so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
