i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
