I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
