If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
