He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
