We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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