Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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