I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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