I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize