from now on my penis is your penis
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
