she was so not down for the gang bang
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
