i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
