I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
