hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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