keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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