your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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