you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
