Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize