drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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