This girl is more easily done than said...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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