Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.