He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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