i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.