i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
