Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
