bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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