Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
