Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I am available for nakedness
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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