i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
This house was built for laser tag.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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