You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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