If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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