I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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