Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I intend to get homeless drunk
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
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